Struggling

I have been struggling lately with knowing when to expect right and wrong from others.  I guess that I just expect it from certain people, you automatically think that those who follow Jesus are going to do right by you or at least try, but unfortunately it doesnt always work out that way, and I find it difficult to explain this to the kids, it is soo much easier for them to understand society and how it works, because you know what to expect and you dont get your hopes up for something that never happens. By no means are we perfect, but we do make the efforts to right our wrongs, but at some points we do have to wipe our hands clean and lead our lives so that we do not hurt anymore. You at some point have to protect yourself from the dissappointment. And that makes me very sad for not only myself but for my kids. Stepping up and making the effort to mend broken relationships to no avail is very disappointing. But what it does boil down to is that when you get right down to it the only person that you can rely on is yourself and GOD.  So I am making a promise to myself today that I will do my best to not make idle promises and I will always try my hardest to do right no matter how hard it is, in the last few months that I worked I was asked to comprimise my morals as a healthcare worker and to do what I believe was truely wrong by a patient, and although it was not a popular decision by administration or for monies by the facility I did what was right by the patient and by GOD and what I would have wanted for my family member and although it didnt make me a popular employee I fealt at peace  with my decision and I also fealt right with GOD. That is the kind of decisions I need to always make and follow through with. I am not good at alot of things in life, I am horrible with money, I am horrible at decorating, I am horrible at showing emotion, I am horrible at painting, I am horrible at getting up early, I am horrible at keeping a clean house, I am horrible at alot of things, Sometimes I really dont know what I am good for, but I promise to Love my kids more than anything in this world till the day I die, and I promise to always try to do right by God!!

Christmas Traditions

Every year the kids and I sit around the table and make Christmas cookies. As the kids grow and mature I notice the differences in them and how the like to enjoy Christmas but they always enjoy this activity. Aiden is still so full of excitement and joy and cant wait to decorate, for him it is about color and sprinkles, for Kenzie it a precise art and making sure it looks just right, for Dalton well he just really wants to eat it, Hunter wants to make it look good but more so would like to just get it done To Avery each cookie is a masterpiece I am not sure she will ever eat hers. And then we always make chocolate covered pretzel rods, my favorite and sooo yummy and they freeze so well, so they can be enjoyed later throughout the year.  You know this activity really doesnt take that much time, so I wonder why we dont take more time out of our days and do more of these family activities together.  I have really enjoyed McKenzie being home for Christmas Break it has kinda been like old times, it is hard to believe that things will never be the same, with her being away for her last years of high school and then off to college this is really it, I can only hope that she will come home for a year or two after college but I know McKenzie well and she is very independent and a strong girl who will take this world by the horns and I know she is ready, but it still makes me sad, my baby girl is grown up, and I really miss her, I hope she knows how much I Love her and Cherish her and always will!!! As I do all of my kids, I am soo not ready to let go of my babies. So I guess this time of year we all should cherish the time we have with our loved ones. I dont know if I do everything right, but I know that I am doing my best and I hope that , that is good enough, so in years to come I hope my kids (all of them) come home and keep the traditions going.

Learning

Aiden and Bills birthday is today, however we celebrated it on Friday with a Thanksgiving meal, per Aidens request LOL, Sooooo I made my very first turkey and it turned out delicious if I do say so myself, in addition we had corn caserole, mashed potatoes, gravy noodles and stuffing, cake and ice cream and dirt pudding, we were all stuffed to say the least.  It is soo hard to believe my baby is 8 yrs old already, it just seems like yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. He is such a blessing to have around, and never a day goes by that he doesnt make us smile. The girls had a wonderful learning experience today at their horse bowl practice, we disected a pig heart today, it was great getting to show them all the chambers and vessels and arteries of the heart and explaining the blood flow to them, they got to actually see and understand exactly what happened to G-pa Packard several years ago. Thanks sooo much to Karen Lehe for supplying the pig and cow hearts and sharing her expertise with us.

Aidens Birthday

Christmas is almost here......Wow how time flies!!! In a few days my baby will be 8. It is sad to think he is growing up. It just seems like yesterday Bill and I were making the calls to everyone telling them we were expecting for the 5th time.  I remember vividly some not so supporting and hurtful comments that were made.  Sometimes people dont agree with your decisions or they dont understand them, but this was one decision I KNOW we got RIGHT !!!  Aiden is the light of my life, and the most amazing son I could ask for, not a day goes by that he doesnt make me smile.  He is always thinking of others and is sooo loving. GOD has blessed us soo much!! This weekend we made homemade horsetreats with our horsebowl and hippology team at Rosebud ranch in Brookston it was a blast and the horses loved the treats, we are gonna have to start making these at home, these would be great gifts for our horsey friends. The kids and I are going to make some treats for the animals in the shelter in cass county for Christmas this year, I usually go buys some cat and dog treats and toys but I thought it might be nice to make some this year , so I am looking for ideas if anybody has any. Just a few more days and then Kenzie will be home for almost a month I cant wait!! I hope she doesnt get bored though, I know she is used to her school schedule. Around this time of year you hear alot about people helping other people out and volunteering their time I would like to challenge everyone as we should be doing these things all year round and not just at Christmas time, I know we are going to make a greater effort this year. I have recently discovered the online garage sale sites on facebook and I am soo addicted, we are trying now to raise funds for stalls for the horses so selling our unwanted things on here is helping, it is amazing what modern day technology has come to. The kids are looking forward to a break in homeschooling for Christmas Break, I am trying to talk them into continueing through so we can get out earlier in the year, but I think they are ready for the break.