Not much going on around here lately, just trying to get by.  Kids are going stir crazy with out the hustle and bustle of Motocross and 4-H activities, however Bill and I are staying busy as usual working our lives away.  Thanksgiving has come and gone, it was nice to have Kenz home for a week and shortley she will be home again for Christmas. Usually this is a exciting time of year but this year not so. So many problems going on everywhere is making this season hard to get excited about or enjoy.  Hope the kids understand Christmas this year is going to probobly be different from what they are used to, but whats important is that we have each other. Homeschool is in full swing, the kids are reaching burn out LOL.  I have realized that I have accidently been assigning Aiden 2x as much Grammer,Spelling and Reading as needed so he will finish the 3rd grade in these subjects 1/2 way through the year so I am trying to decided wether to move on to 4th grade material to finish the year or find another 3rd grade program and review, he did quite well the first time however Spelling can always use more work I think its a testosterone issue LOL. Bentley is doing great from his colic surgery only 13 more days until he can be ridden again, he is ready, he is mopping around like he is depressed, he really enjoys the time he and Hunter spend riding together, so I hope he gets back to his normal self.  Dalton is dieing to get back to racing, we have offered to hire him a personal trainer and he has shown no interest I am beginning to wonder just how much he wants this Motocross career. He just doesnt get it, and I am afraid it may be to late before he does. I really dont want him to regret his decisions later in life, This could be the one thing that stands between him and his dreams and he wont listen to us. Working at the Veterans home started out very difficult, had a very rude and unpersonable cooworker but she is slowley coming out of her shell.  I have never worked a Monday through Friday job before no weekends or holidays and 8 hr shifts before, I have always had to do weekends worked 12 hr shifts and had to work holidays so this is a nice change.  And the pay aint bad either It couldnt have come at a better time either.  Well hope everybody else has a wonderful holiday season. God Bless Everyone!!

So theres been alot of crazy stuff going on since I have last blogged.  For some reason it has been a terrible year for horses, we have had 3 of ours colic with one of them requiring surgery. By the grace of God they all have survived. But alot of people we know and love have not been that fortunate, not sure if the weather has had a part in it. But none the less I know of at least 6 people who had to put their horses down this fall already, my hearts break for these people. We have homeschooling well underway now, and we are using ABEKA this year, it is a good program however it takes up the entire day, I am not so sure I like Hunter having to work well into the evening to do her schooling. But we will continue on throughout this year and reevaluate for next year. Racing season comes to an end for Dalton today, he has had a very successful year, it is bittersweet when the season ends, its nice to actually to have family time again, but they do miss racing alot too.  I have a feeling Dalton is not going to enjoy his time off from the track as he wont get to see his girlfriend as much, but I am sure we will figure something out. McKenzie is doing wonderful away at school, she has applyed at 4 colleges thus far and has been accepted to IU and IUPUI so far we are waiting on Purdue and University of Iowa I believe. I have accepted a full time position at the Veterans home in Lafayette so I will cut back on my PRN jobs and just do that as finances force me to do so.  Hopefully my ailing body will agree with this change. I am not sure if I have posted this before or not but we were able to trade the walker for a pony for Aiden, she and he are a perfect fit. she is not much to look at but he thinks she is the most beautiful thing in the world and she thinks he is amazing as well, it was love at first sight for both of them her name is China Mae.

I know its been a while since I wrote and yes there has been alot going on around here, I have started 3 jobs. I now work at the Veterans home in Lafayette, I work at Whispering Pines in Monticello and Pulaski Memorial Hospital in Winamac. All of them I am doing Prn so I am still able to continue to homeschool the kids. But it is a bit hectic trying to keep all the schedules right.  At first I really didnt like the Veterans home, it kinda seemed more like an assembly line than a patient care facility, but I have found my groove and I am getting to know the residents and not to mention they pay pretty well lol. I started the kids back to school on Monday we are using Abeka this year, it takes alot longer than the program we used last year, Hunters especially, she is working on her studies around 8 hours a day, doesnt seem quite right, hopefully once we get more into it, it will get better. McKenzie went back to school on the 10th, she was sooo ready. We are going to have Kenzie's senior pics done in Oct. cant wait to see what they come up with.  Dalton is having a blast with his Motocross this year, not to mention he likes to go hang out with his girlfriend LOL.  We really need to get on them both to start training harder, they are both doing well racing, but really need to be running and working out during the week. We have had lots of inquires on our horse Cody but no buyers ugg!! we really need to get him sold, hay is going to be hard to find this winter.  He is a beautiful horse, someone will get a nice horse. Dalton is still taking drivers training, he is such a good driver, I cant wait till he gets his own lisence so he can run himself around LOL. The girls have been riding the horses everyday, so hopefully they will be ready for the September show. Aiden has been showing interest in the horses lately, he is soo cute trying to ride my horse, he kicks and kicks and Cowboy just stands there, so he usually switches to Sassy and she listens perfectly the only problem with that is Avery is soo attached to sassy she doesnt like to share her pony, if we could sell a couple horses we could get Aiden a pony of his own, but none of us can agree on what horses to sell other than Cody. And Avery thinks even when she outgrows her pony she is keeping her OMG these kids are hard to please. I know a kids first pony is very special to them, but geez you gotta give us parents a break. So the pics above are Aiden and Sassy, Avery and my horse Cowboy and Hunter on Brody

Ok so everybody is giving me grief for not keeping my blog updated. So here you go. I now have 3 jobs I work at Pulaski Memorial Hospital, Whispering Pines, and Indiana Veterans Home. I will work PRN at all of them hoping between all of them to add up to a regular full time job, but by doing prn you get paid more and have more freedom to choose your hours, so I can continue to homeschool the kids. Things have been pretty crazy around here lately with me orientating at all 3 facilities and this being our fair week and trying to sell a horse and also picking up another horse in Chicago there hasnt been alot of down time around here. I dont know if you all remember back in February when I was scammed out of the horse I was buying and had been making payments on for over a year, well the women was never able to pay up, so her solution was to give me this mare which is another Friesian Sport Horse which is what I wanted in the first place but the mare is in foal to a pretty impressive Warmblood stallion, but now this presents me with another set of problems, now I need to figure out how to construct a foaling stall before March. So actually in the end I got more than what she actually owed me back,...........providing everything goes well with the baby and delivery and that the baby sells fairly quickly, the actual foal will be worth at the minimum $5000-8000 according to the stallions hx. and books. so we will see. I intend to actually include the gestational process and delivery in our homeschooling this year, may as well take advantage of it and make it a learning experience for the kids. Dalton did well in his drivers training, now all he has to do is finish out his driving times and wait to get his liscence. Cant believe my babies are growing up. Makes me sad. The girls really did well last night at the contesting show at fair, they absolutely love barrel racing etc. and their horses love it too. We will starting school up here again soon, I have to say I am not looking forward to it, but has to be done. Dalton and his girlfriend went to Redbud a couple weeks ago and they did great, I wasnt sure how Dalton would do with it being his first time with that many fast people but I am very proud of him. Its hard to believe he will be 16 here soon.  Kenzie goes back to school on the 10th, she is so ready , I really thought this summer was going to be hard with her home because of her age and her type A personality, but it has actually been great I am going to miss her alot, but I know she is getting the best education she can get , the Academy is amazing.  So for now we are going to finish out Daltons race season, start school and attend at least one more horse show before fall gets here. So there you have it. The insanity of the Packards lives on LOL I added a picture of Kenzie from her prom this last year.

So we have been done with our  homeschooling for some time now, however we have been making trips to the library, and Dalton is taking Drivers Education. Aiden has taken particular interest in war history so we have been reading books on Vietnam and Korea as well as WWI and II. He has alot of questions and alot solutions as to how they could have done it better LOL. He is so intelligent and innocent, you cant help but Love that kid. Dalton has been doing really good with his racing this year, I think they may bump him up a class level here soon. The girls have already hit 2 horse shows and raked in several ribbons. Kenzie has been doing alot of reading and researching colleges she would like to attend, right now she is leaning toward the University of Michigan, she wants to study Genetics. I have been having some issues with my Pseudotumor Cerebrei and unfortunately my eye function is down and I have lost some of my vision in my right eye, at times before it has came back quickly this time it is not, so she has given me 3 weeks (2 now) and then may have to have surgery. Not  looking forward to it, but I guess if it keeps me from going blind its worth it after all I would like to be able to see my grandkids someday. The girls and I have doing alot of trail riding, we try to go at least 2-3 times a week. Its alot of fun. Aiden has been going with us as well and riding double with Hunter or one of the trail guides, he loves to go fast (why doesnt that surprise me) LOL. Now he thinks he need a pony just his size. Hopefully I will be starting a new job here in the next week or so, hopefully my health cooperates, because we really need the $$. I dont know how working and homeschooling is going to work out but we are going to give it a go. I have a feeling its going to be very difficult getting help from Bill on the days we both work. Please pray that it all works out for us, because the kids absolutely do not want to go back to regular school and plus I already spent almost $3000.00 for their programs for next year. Well have a wonderful day, and may God Bless you. above is a picture of Aiden riding my horse Cowboy by himself.

PRAYERS

I would appreciate all the prayers I can get, I am having a hard time with life in general these days, very confused and feel extremely hopeless and there doesnt seem to be any end in sight.

so I decided to keep the paint horse , the TWH did not get along with my others. So he is down at Crooked Creek until he sells, which is hopefully sooner than later. I figured all the kiddos grades from homeschool this year and the worst grade was a C+ and is only 1 point away from a B so I fully expect it to be brought up to a B before we are done this year, so proud of the kids for the first year of homeschooling. Kenzie has maintained all A's and an occasional B as well which is an amazing accompishment at the Academy as their classes there are extremely difficult and require alot out of the students. Today we are celebrating the end of our Horse Bowl and Hippology season all the kids did great! We are having a big dinner to celebrate. 4-h Horse and Pony has started as well the girls couldnt be more thrilled to see all of their horsey friends again. I have been enjoying trail riding my gelding alot, he is perfect for me and never puts a foot wrong, I am soo glad I decided on him. Dalton's racing is going great he is bringing home 1st's every weekend, not to long and I have a feeling that going pro will be in his future, I just hope financially we can keep him going till then. This has been his dream his whole life and now that he is sooo close, we are going to make it happen no matter what it takes as long as he is willing to put in the work and effort that it takes. Our Dog Snookie the Boston Terrier had to have a C-section this week. poor thing woke us up at 4 am with a puppy stuck , she ended up having 3 all together only 2 survived, they are extremely cute and she is an amazing mother, at the same time our German Shepard became sick and spent 2 days in the hospital and our mare stepped on a nail..........uggg!! I am soo done with bad luck , now have Vet bills out the Wazoo and no $$ to pay them. What next?? I am afraid of that answer. I guess I just need to be Thankful for my wonderful family and friends and call it a day.

The first 2 pictures are of Cody my other new horse, and the 3rd is an updated pictures of Cowboy I thiink he is progressing well, already has gained quite a bit of weight working on getting rid of his rainrot and his pink eye.....WOW didnt realize he was gonna be quite so much work when I bought him but he is sooo worth it, his temperment is to die for!! Now onto Cody, he was a impulse buy that I am kicking myself for however I know he will make a wonderful companion once I put in the work and effort, he will need alot of one on one to learn to trust. Not entirely sure I am going to keep both of them but for the time being I will love and nuture both of them as they both deserve. Cody is a Tennesee Walker and is 7 years old, he would be a better trail partner for me as his gait is soo much smoother and easier on my back. But i believe at the moment Cowboy has the better temperment but also needs alot of TLC so there are pros and cons to both, but I am just going to let life work itself out and not worry about it anymore, I have worried myself to death these last couple of years. Today I fealt blessed to have all 5 of my children home to enjoy Easter together, So Thankful Jesus died on the cross for us, what a wonderful gift!!!

Learned Lessons

So as you know I have been purchasing my dream horse for the last year from a woman in Wisconsin, I have paid religiously every month for her vet, farrier, payment and boarding , never being late on any payments, so I got down to my last payment and contacted the women to arrange transport for my horse and had a really hard time getting her to respond back to me and when she would she would text short messages blowing me off and not really giving me answers but finally on 2 occasions she finally set up deliverly dates for Kaisa to come home to us. Both dates came and went and I became very inpatient and started putting the pressure on her, She became very irritated and finally sent me a message saying that the horse was no longer available and that her attorney would be in contact with me..........huhhhh!! What the heck???? So I continued to attempt to contact her, finally I contacted a friend thats husband is a lawyer, but in the meantime she finally calls me back and explains that the horse never really belonged to her and that she was a cosignment horse and about half way through my purchasing her the owners decided to take her back to their ranch and that she was taking my payments every month and sending them to the owners, and that the rightful owners recently sold the horse to someone else, so I questioned her further and turnes out she not only had a contract with me but with the owners.............Hummmmm sounds like a big problem for her if I choose to pursue this, however she states that she plans to refund my $ less the boarding fees to me within 30 days and will try to get the boarding fees to me later, so I am going to try to work with her, however I will never trust anyone again wether I have a contract or not. I thought I had all my bases covered, I had a vet go out and evaluate the mare and I had a very thorough contractual agreement and I made all payments through paypal thinknig that way everything was easily tracked in case of something like this. So essentially I AM COVERED however I would have to go to Wisconsin and lawyer fees would probobly astronomical. So I hope everything works out, I really dont want to cause troubles for this women but she must not do this to someone else , the girls and I are just heartbroken about losing her, but we have found a wonderful gelding to take her place his name is COWBOY he is a 12 year old PAINT horse who is very gentle and loves kids , nothing bothers this boy, he does need to gain some weight but that should not be a problem around here all the animal seem to get fat here LOL. Paint horses really have never been my favorite breed and definitly not ones with white faces but something about this boy made me want to bring him home so we did. Avery is already claiming him as hers, I keep having to tell her this horse is mine LOL. The kids and I are so excited that there are only 41 days of school left. We really need to schedule some fieldtrips. Mckenzie is getting really excited about her trip to New York. Daltons race season has started and he couldnt be happier. So here are some pictures of the new horse. Keep in mind we are going to have to put some weight on him and clean him up, also we will be adding some supplements to his food to making his coat shiney and help his tail and main to grow longer and strong.

so we are still plugging along with our homeschooling, Aiden is learning cursive wrighting and multiplication, and with the pleasant weather the girls and I have been able to enjoy the horses alot this winter we have been out trail riding at least 3 days a week. Dalton was able to pick up one of his new bikes for this year, he is in love LOL, McKenzie is still enjoying the academy life and doing great, in May she will be taking a trip to New York with some of the other students for a project with her school, they will be visiting Ground Zero, The Statue of Liberty as well as numerous other cultural attractions. Just a few more days till my horse is delivered, I am getting very anxious. There are only 46 days of school left for the kiddos, I dont know who is more happy about this me or them LOL. We took Brody our Gypsy gelding to the trainers yesterday, hope he comes back ready for the upcoming show season, the girls cannot wait to start riding him. Motocross Racing starts this weekend Dalton and Bill are soo ready for this, I am too, but not ready for all the chaos it brings. Hoping Dalton has a great season and makes some wonderful progress. Dalton brought his bike in the house today to put a set of new graphics today. what a mom to let  their son to bring a dirtbike in the house LOL.

Plunging Through Life

day by day we contiue to plunge through this world together. Somedays harder than others. Hoping for better days to follow. Being relentless and continueing to have faith is really the only thing you can do.  I appreciate everyday the lord gives us to enjoy our wonderful children, that is alway the brightness in a gloomy situation. I am hoping 2012 brings new joy and happiness and that life becomes easier to live and less depressing.  I realize that making that happen is in large part going to be up to me, I will have to make that happen, it is a frame of mind that I am going to have to decide to change. I just hope the people around me support that change and dont bring me down. I have always only depended on noone but myself, and I am attempting to allow myself to depend on others, which if anyone knows me at all, this is a very difficult thing for me, I am just very afraid this is a unwise decision. I yearn for happiness and ease as the days follow, and hope for that for others as well. My children are the light of my life!!! I love them more than life itself, and I hope they realize it. May your days be blessed!!

Life lessons

There are so many life lessons that we must teach our children, and sometimes we have to take advantage of not so nice situations to do this. It is unfortunate that people we trust the most and that we look to for spiritual guidance dont always live up to our expectations  Even though we try to protect and love our children the best we can, sometimes things still happen that you dont even see coming. But the way you handle it shows true character. I choose to pray for those who do wrong and who do not take ownership for their wrongs, and I will forgive because that is what Jesus would want me to do. Children learn by your actions, they will mimic their parents, thats why they say actions speak louder than words. For instance if you child see's that you dont associate with hispanic or blacks, chances are they are going to grow up and not associate with hispanics or blacks.  I keep telling myself that one of the most important things I want to do is find a church for my family to attend, I am not sure what is holding me back, but there is def. something that is, a couple of my children do not feel comfortable in church and I am not quite sure why, in light of some recent happenings I think I may have some insight though. And it saddens me very much, because I have fealt the same way my whole life, and I never wanted any of my children to have to deal with something like this.  You know some people will make comments about people who "dont" attend church on a regular basis without having all the information. So next time you think you may slip up and do something like that first ask yourself why this person may have a issue????  I think when you trust someone so completely with your most important possession (your spirituality) and they let you down it really does something to you Psychologically. The one person however who will never let you down is the Lord, and whether in church or not I worship him everyday, he is forever in my mind, heart and soul! And I hope that is one Life Lesson I can teach my children!!!

So we are well into our schoolyear now and things seem to be going well, Aiden is now doing some Alegebra and Multiplcation and doing wonderful. The girls are flying through their Lifepacs wonderfully, and Dalton is making great strides in the right direction.  McKenzie is amazing us everyday, I have to admit that when she went away to the academy I really didnt expect her to continue to make the grades that she has alway made, but she never ceases to amaze us. She has definitely proven me wrong. So I have learned alot over the last few months and I am soo ready to make some changes in the kids curriculum. I am looking to add Spanish to Hunter and Avery's Curriculums, and Animal Science to Hunters. Also I would like to do some Art and Music appreciation with Aiden and Avery. With Dalton  I am planning to do some Business and Personal Law and Finance as well as possibly sign him up for a class or two at Ivy Tech for dual credit. And in the next couple of years I would like fo r him to start attending the career center for some hands on instruction.  In March we should be able to join the GLHEA COOP and they offer Drama, Orchestra, Sports etc so that should be pretty fun. Along with 4-h and Motocross this should keep us pretty busy. Hopefully at some point we can get something more formal set up around here than just using the kitchen table for schoolwork. It kind of makes it hard to concentrate with 4 kids trying to work at once. And I dont like the idea of kids in different rooms. Only a few weeks until my new horse will be here, I have been waiting for almost a year for this day to come, I am sooo excited, I hope everything goes as planned I remember my pony as a kid she brought me such joy, and I see my girls with their horses and how much they love them, I cant wait to form that special bond with her. Sometimes when you have a bad day or noone understands what you are going through it takes a horse to make you feel better, I know that sounds funny to some people but if you have ever loved a horse and had one love you back you know what I am taling about.

WAITING

They say good things come to those who wait.  Well I would like to officially go on record as saying I am still waiting. This last year has been very difficult in all areas of life. I keep thinking when I wake up tomorrow things are going to be better, but low and behold when tomorrow comes its the same ole thing.  Depression is a nasty disease, it consumes all realms of your life, it reaks havoc not only on you but your family. But since you cant see this problem people dont understand it, and they just think you can choose to get better. Thank Goodness for my kids, I dont know how I would get through my day to day life without them.  They say the Lord helps them who helps themselves, well we are def. doing that too. We are def. blessed with 5 great children, I just keep telling myself that everyday that is the only thing that gets me through the day. Please keep us in your prayers as we could sure use them right now.