A few weeks ago I quit my job, I was very emotional and upset about it, I was frightened by the unknown. I have been going through alot in these last couple of years. Most of it not noticable to the naked eye. I have been fighting with myself about my mothering, wifely and financial duties to this family. I believe I was kidding myself to think that I could do all of these things well. I had no problem doing all of these things but to do it well and to be fare to everybody as well as myself was not possible. I fealt that if I didnt do it "all" that I was less of a person and that I was letting everyone down. I still dont have everything figured out, but I am hoping that I am on the right track. Some days I am more sure than others. I am not sure I will ever have it all figured out, but I will always be trying to better myself for my family and for myself. That is the hardest thing......to allow myself time for 'myself' I have always concentrated on making everyone else happy and have forgotten about myself. However when my children are happy I am happy!! But I have learned sometimes my children have to make theirselves happy and that I must find time to make myself happy!! Homeschooling is going surprisingly well, I was expecting it to be soooo much harder than it is. I was sooo scared to mess up or not do it right. But I just dived in and actually it is kinda easy and fun, yes it is alot of work but the boys and are getting to bond, I cant wait to start the girls!! Now it has only been a few days, so I may not be so optimistic in a month from now, but we have committed to doing this for at least a year. Please pray for my sanity LOL.